Friday, January 16, 2009

Other People's Gods/Dioses ajenos

Other people that I know have gods. Their gods are great (my God is great, they say). Their gods are good for them. They support them through hard times. They are there when they need them. That's a good thing. For them.

I feel about other people's gods the way I do about other people's parents whom I haven't met. I don't doubt the existence of other people's parents. I don't doubt it when someone tells me that they love their parents. But I don't have a personal relationship with these parents, or their gods.

Sometimes it makes me feel a bit deficient that I don't perceive the gods all around like some people do. I'm reasonably sensitive and perceptive. But I don't see it. I don't feel it.

To a certain degree I find other people's gods comforting. I'd like there to be something more. My existence is bound up in this bundle of atoms and when my consciousness is gone, as it is every night when I sleep, I will be no more. My atoms will go back to being part of the world around them. (rolled 'round in earth's diurnal course, with rocks and stones and trees). Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there is a higher consciousness, a master plan, a reason.

I don't have a god. I am of this earth. I am nobody and I am a bit of every woman who has ever existed.

Conozco a personas quienes tienen dioses. Sus dioses son grandes (mi Dios es grande, dicen). Sus dioses son buenos para ellos. Les dan apoyo en momentos difíciles. Están allá cuando se necesitan. Eso es bueno. Para ellos.

Siento frente a los dioses de los demás como me siento frente a los papás de personas a quienes no conozco. No dudo de la existencia de los papás de los demás. No dudo cuando alguien me dice que ama a sus papás. Pero no tengo una relación personal con sus papas, ni con sus dioses.

A veces me siento algo deficiente que no percibo los dioses alrededor de mí, como otras personas hacen. Tengo cierto grado de sensibilidad y de percepción. Pero no les veo. No les siento.

En cierto medida encuentro consuelo en el hecho que otras personas tienen dioses. Quisiera que hubiera algo más. Mi existencia es este conjunto de átomos y cuando mi conciencia desaparece, como hace cada noche, yo dejaré de existir. Mis átomos se devolverán a hacer parte del mundo que me rodea (volteando por el curso diurno del mundo, con rocas y piedras y árboles). Tal vez me equivoco. Tal vez existe una conciencia mayor, un plan maestro, una razón.

No tengo dios. Soy de esta tierra. No soy nadie y soy cada mujer quien jamás existía.



WHERE IS THIS LOVE

He could run like a tiger anywhere
When he felt like everything was alright
(It's alright)
Walk tall like a roman emperor like a cockatoo
On his own away from the lights of home
In the room with his brothers and sisters
He didn't sleep at night, kept his ears open
For a key in the front door
He's home again, he's drunk again
He's bouncing off the walls again
A fist comes down like a hammer on a drum
A hammer on a drum

Where is this love that will open the doors
Where is this love to make me cry out for more
Where is this love that comes from above
Where is this love?

He'd fight like a soldier with the kids on the street
When he knew he couldn't talk it out
(It's alright)
Walk proud like a man in space like a king
When he dreamed of living in a different place
He'd soar like an eagle on the hill
Where he went when he ran from the raging storm
He couldn't think at school he couldn't take the pain
He cried out for love but no one came
Just the sound of thunder
Like a hammer on a drum


Where is this love that will open the doors
Where is this love to make me cry out for more
Where is this love that comes from above
Where is this love?

He'd shiver like a runaway in the wind
When the day turned grey with the fear of night
He just keeps on running through the driving rain
He's home again, he's drunk again
A fist falls down like a hammer on a drum
A hammer on a drum

Where is this love that will open the doors
Where is this love to make me cry out for more
Where is this love that comes from above
Where is this love?
Where is this love?

Where is this love that will open the doors
Where is this love to make me cry out for more
Where is this love that comes from above
Where is this love?

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