Saturday, March 7, 2009

Dos cuentos de mi vida y un chiste por el Día de la Mujer / Two stories from my life and a joke for Women's Day

La Mujeres Toman las Calles de Bogotá y un hombre quien superó los demás de su género
Uno de las ideas geniales de la administración de Antanas Mockus fue de decretar un toque de queda para los hombres en el Día de la Mujer. Participé en dos ocasionales. El primer año fui al centro y caminé las calles en compañía de centenares de mujeres de todas las edades; de las más viejas hasta las más jóvenes, mujeres quienes generalmente nunca saldrían de noche. El segundo año fui con mi amiga Estela a tomarnos algo en el Parque de la 93. Igual como el año anterior, había muchas mujeres con los ánimos volando, incluyendo quienes estaban montaron a los hombres, enviándoles a casa. Un grupo estaba especialmente alborotado, y estaba hasta echando harina a los hombres. Se acercaron a un carro, que avanzaba muy lentamente por la cantidad de tráfico, y por la ventana abierta echaron harina al hombre quien estaba conduciendo. El carro paró en seco. La puerta se abrió y un hombre grande, negro y fornido salió. Un silencio de aprehensión cayó sobre el sector. El hombre quitó su chaqueta, untada de harina. Quitó la camiseta que llevaba por debajo, mostrando unos pectorales y un abdomen plano espectaculares. Sacudió su camiseta, varias veces. Se estiró y flexionó sus músculos, y volvió colocar su camiseta. Todas las mujeres aplaudieron y silbaban su apreciación. Fue un gran hombre (en todo sentido).

When Women Took Over the Streets of Bogotá, and a man who surpassed all others of his gender
One of the cool ideas that Mayor Antanas Mockus implemented during his administration was that of declaring a curfew on men for Women's Day. I participated twice in the women take over the night events. The first year I went downtown and walked the streets in the company of hundreds of women of all ages; from the very oldest to the very youngest, women who normally would not go out at night. The second year I went out with my friend Estela to Parque 93 for drinks. Like the previous year there were lots of animated women, and some who were giving the men a hard time and sending them home. One group of women was particularly high-spirited, and was even throwing flour on the men who were out. They approached a car that was moving very slowly in the heavy traffic, and through the open window threw flour on the man who was driving. The car came to a sudden halt. The door opened and a tall, well-built black man got out. Apprehensive silence fell over the area. The man took off his jacket, covered in flour. Peeled off the t-shirt he was wearing underneath, revealing a gorgeous set of pectorals and abdomen. He ostentatiously shook out the t-shirt. Stretched and flexed his muscles, and then put the t-shirt back on, to wild and appreciative applause from all of the women. He showed himself to be the bigger man!

Una Mujer Igual a Todas Las Mujeres
Una vez un hombre quien buscó criticarme me dijo: "Eres igual a todas las mujeres". Me quedé pensando en esta frase. Con esta frase sentí que no era sola, que no fui la única quien tuvo que vivir esta experiencia, sino que mi experiencia, mi historia, hacía parte de la historia de todas las mujeres del mundo. Sentí una identificación infinita con la condición femenina. Sentí como la diosa de todas las mujeres.

Just Like Every Other Woman
Once a man who was trying to criticize me said, "You are just like every other woman." I thought about that statement for a long time. That statement made me feel like I was not alone, that I was not the only one who had gone through something like this, but rather that my experience, my history, was part of the history of every woman in the world. I felt an infinite identification with the female condition. I felt like the goddess of all women.

And now, a joke:

A Great Wisdom

One day a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river. Her thimble fell into the river. She cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?'

The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.

'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked
The seamstress replied, 'No.'

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.

'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked.
Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.'

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.

'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, 'Yes.'
The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?'
'Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!'

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney.
'Is this your husband?' the Lord asked.
'Yes!' cried the seamstress.
The Lord was furious. 'You lied! That is an untruth!'

The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt... Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney!'

And so the Lord let her keep George.

The Moral of this Story is: Whenever a woman LIES, it's for a good and honourable reason and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

Feliz Día para todas las mujeres
Happy Women's Day!

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